Procrastaderm™

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Clinically Unverified  ·  Once-Daily Topical Patch

Procrastaderm™

For adults who keep meaning to get around to it.

A once-daily topical patch clinically formulated to address the persistent, debilitating cycle of deferred intention. Applied in the morning. Forgotten by afternoon.

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Procrastaderm™ is not approved by the FDA or any regulatory body. Side effects include sudden productivity lasting 4–6 minutes, an overwhelming urge to reorganize something already organized, and mild existential clarity. Ask your doctor if Procrastaderm is right for you. Your doctor will probably just shrug.

Procrastaderm box on counter
See It In Action

You've been meaning to watch this.

Sarah, Procrastaderm user
"I applied my patch at 8am. By 9am I had reorganized my spice rack, made a list of other lists I needed to make, and successfully thought about calling my mother. Procrastaderm gave me the intention I needed."
— Sarah, 43  ·  Procrastaderm user since eventually
★★★★★
5 stars. Would apply again tomorrow.
Mechanism of Action

How Procrastaderm™ Works

01

Apply the Patch

Each morning, apply one Procrastaderm™ patch to your upper arm. You will mean to do this. Eventually you will.

02

Feel the Intention

Within minutes, experience a powerful sense that today is the day. Today you will handle everything. Today is different.

03

Get Around to It

Begin one task. Complete approximately 40% of it before remembering something else. Feel good about this. That's progress.

Real Procrastaderm™ Users

Living With Intention. Mostly.

Results not typical. Results not particularly atypical either.

Man contemplating garage
"I assessed the situation thoroughly." — Dave, 47
Man gaming on couch
"I was mentally preparing." — Michael, 52
Woman doing dishes
"Sudden productivity. 4 minutes." — Karen, 44
Productivity burst
"I reorganized my reorganization system." — Greg, 38